When I Get Older

“I’m not sure what I’ll do, but- well I want to go places and see people. I want my mind to grow. I want to live where things happen on a big scale.” -F. Scott Fitzgerald

In less than 48 hours, I will be loading the contents of the past 18 years into a tiny Honda and driving to the next chapter of my life, college. First of all, I want to know where the time has gone? As cynical as I am about high school, I can’t dispute the fact that it absolutely flew by. In what seems to be in the blink of an eye, I am getting ready to embark in the next chapter of my life.

Since freshman year I have had people ask me what I want to do, “When I get older.” Depending on the day, you probably got a response ranging from news anchor, to working in PR, and everything in between (as long as it didn’t involve math, C’mon who do you think I am?) But now, it does appear that “When I get older” is, well, now.

So, do I have any idea what I want to do with my life? To be concise, absolutely not. Just within the  past week I’m pretty sure I have looked at changing my major at least seven times, classes haven’t even started yet.

For me, finding a career that makes me incredibly wealthy or powerful has never been a motive. I have seen opulent wealth firsthand, I have seen immense power firsthand, and yet that world has no appeal to me. Call me blindly optimistic but you truly cannot buy happiness. Does wealth occasionally relieve stress? Absolutely. But does it bring you utter happiness? Absolutely not. I want a career that makes a difference. I want to be able to do something that helps others, a career that helps our world.

The world in which we live in has gained an interest in monetary value, but has lost the value of life. We look at screens all day, instead of looking out windows. We are worried about owning the latest model of vehicle, but aren’t the least bit concerned about the water shortages appearing in our own backyard. Life is not about what you own, it’s about the impact you’ve made.

So as I enter college, can you blame me for not knowing what I want to do? I am young, I am naive, but I’m also headstrong and not willing to settle for mediocre. We are given one chance, and I have full intentions of making the best of this short time we have on earth. The universe has a way of working things out exactly as they should, so I plan on enjoying the ride. Here’s to not knowing what I want to do for the rest of my life, but embracing it with open arms. I am fully confident that it will all come together, “When I get older.”


P.S. thank you Mom and Dad for giving me the world and more. Without you I would not be who I am, nor be where I am. I’ll always be you little girl.

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